My friend Mike told me that we answer all requests in a predictable unconscious way until we consciously notice when we are being requested, and respond consciously.
Two months ago Farmer Bob said maybe maybe if he asked his wife Alla on my behalf I might receive a peacock feather from the peacock. I squirmed with excitement for the possibility. Time passed until it was this Saturday and Farmer Bob pulled me aside with Alla. They were talking to me and I felt important. Alla said
O! The feathers! Come come I want to give these to you. She gathered a great bundle of peacock feathers and put them in my arms. She's protective of the feathers and loves their beauty. She said
I am giving these to you! I thought to myself,
this is a serious supernova of awesomeness. All the feathers were really long. Before I went out the door she said,
"O! I have this beautiful small one to give to you too." It was my favorite. It was dense and sparkly and I said to myself- I can decorate the house with all these flowers, but this small one is just for me.
I had taken friends visiting for the weekend to the farm with me. As we returned home with tomatoes and feathers in our arms, one friend asked,
"O can I have the small feather?" I said, "
Of course," with a knot in my throat and handed it to her. Alone tonight I thought of the beautiful little feather and felt sick to my stomach and cried.