Thursday, July 21, 2011

a spark


One day our technology will catch up with our knowledge, and we will be able to back up every practical recommendation, now called mystical, with the precise life cycle of a neuropeptide. And we shall say, "This certain thought construction, often put as 'I know' or 'It is this way' causes a secretion leading to calcification in the brain and limbs. When this hardening takes place, the nerve endings are plugged up, so that one cannot feel." But the cure will be, sure it will be, to be as a child in a dome of kings and queens, walking across a Heart of such magnitude that we cannot know it, except when we come to a precipice, a crevasse, or a great river rushing gushing over, and awe grips us, awe overcomes us- and the Heart of this place beats for us, and our hearts are aligned to the greater pulse, the governing silence, the end all be all peace, which is love beyond, beyond, and beyond again.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Windy June

Yesterday Steve said we were going for a bike ride up the road and we'd see what the tornado did. Wow. There was a lot of this: Scott said, "The forest got... a... buzzcut." It did. Before seeing the crushed houses and splintered trees, I saw a little someone sitting small and still in a bare tree. Mr. Ruby Throat. I think he may have been a bit dazed, because he let me walk up to him before flying off. Maybe he lost his home?
Now that the warm weather is here things are growing. Remember how last year bunny dug a hole beneath the rose bush? It was a new bush and didn't have enough time to flower last year- but it is now! Am so pleased to be seeing this Persian Yellow. And smelling it! Chrysanthie says it smells like sunshine, and Sarah says it smells like honey. Heather's been smelling it too, and I smell coriander!
Also, I worked some more on Gracias Madre in the kitchen...
I like to look at her today especially.
Original illustration by Jon Marro for Gracias Madre Restaurant in San Fransisco

She so nice.

Peace be with you.... :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

May Mermaid Monday

a drawing...

Yesterday being Mothers Day I was inspired to find this picture...

This morning I went for a walk, and on my way home by the Millpond there was a black and white woodpecker and a robin above the woodpecker in a bush by the water. The robin flew away but the woodpecker stayed. I said to myself, "Woodpecker likes me." And then I thought- but then again, he has been banging his head against a tree all morning. Some conclusions are hard to make.

Once I hiked to the top of St Andrews Seat in Scotland, where the grass was green and the wind was cool and the sun was warm. Yellow flowers bloomed all around and I went to the edge of a cliff and straddled the craggly rock to look at the green valley. Everything was like peace and a bouquet of flowers to the heart. I heard bagpipes playing, wondering if I really did hear them? Searching far with my eyes there appeared in the valley the tiniest figure playing on the wind.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Cardinal and Friends

Here is Cardinal. This is a present for my dear nephew, 6 year-old Michael, who loves cardinals. He sent a note he wrote, "I miss you Ant Shanny. I like youyr art it is beautiful and pretty I love it."
Chestnut Hill nursery had a craft fair night so I made a little set-up there on Friday. After painting this Steve read up on bluebirds. Bluebird couples wave their wings to each other when they come home. Gosh that's cute. We had a pair in the sugar maple, but they're gone now. Apparently European sparrows (who live here too) chase away the native bluebird. I'm going to get the bluebirds some worms at the hardware store and we're putting up the house I'm decorating for them, and that might make it easier for the bluebirds to live here.
Here are my friends Cindy and Gay Marie: photographer and jewelry-maker, respectively.
Janet and Sarah came over yesterday with a tea party in hand.
Sarah said let's make smiles with orange slices...

Last week I canceled the cell phone. This afternoon my computer died! It will not turn on, nary accomplishing even the blue screen of death. Am on Steve's laptop at the moment, but not to fear, I get the hint. Peace in peace out! :)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Ready aim wait

"There are thousands hacking away at the branches of evil to one who is at the root." -Thoreau

Thousands of archers poised and ready at the battle line. One longbow takes aim from the perimeter, a specialist. The lines of men shoot erratically to the sky, and arrows return. Patience aims at the heart of the beast, watching each move. Not shooting wildly, he pulls back in readiness, waiting.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Mornin' Birdees

This morning I went for a run, which is a walk on the hills. At first the sun was shining its early morning shine with some orange in the tops of the trees, and some yellow warm that makes a face feel loved. Over the brittle green bridge over the brook by the goats, and past the town dump and the graveyard, which despite their names are very nice places to pass by... Past the woodpile up on the hill where the waddley woodchuck lives. The woodchuck has a face like a beaver and a tail like a raccoon, except not as striped. And when I passed by the other day, he sat between two logs and watched me pass with his goofy teeth sticking out. I chuckled at him, tried to coax him out of that big log pile and even though I was friendly, he didn't come to say hi. But back to this morning's walk. A robin was first in the front yard. Robin with a burnt sienna belly. Robins dip their beaks into the soil and eat the worms. I read once that a robin can hear a worm wriggling underground, and that's how robin finds that worm. Good listening skills. A robin belly is like a roasted sweet potato slice- a warm orange surrounded by caramelized feathers. Sort of the way the sun looks in pictures from space. Sort of the way I wish I could roast a marshmallow, but it turns grey too quickly. Down the road I went this morning and after running a while and forgetting about all the good reasons there (clearly) are to turn around and go home, eventually I was too far from home to turn around. So on up the little hill and down the little hill and cross the brook again~ and the thought- I didn't even finish the thought, but I will finish it here- I said, "Hey, I wonder if my little sparrow buddies are flying." And I hear a "Yeep!" Much more confident than yesterday, when he was crying panic on the power line. A little sparrow crying, such a pathetic thing. I have heard a sparrow cry a most sad cry, and that was a tragedy for sure. But this little sparrow, yesterday, I will tell you what happened. Walking down the little hill and across the brook and up to the old white house, a cry hit my ears. Very nervous kind of noises. I look up, and then further up, to the top of the old house. And there where the power line meets the roof, was a sparrow- almost too fluffy to be a sparrow. Such a big fluffy body. "O do you remember?" I said to m'self. New baby sparrows have down on their bellies, but their wings look normal. And then finally I could understand his most nervous peeping and chirping that was not too pleasant to hear. I said, "You'll do great! You're meant to fly, it's ok, you'll do great. No doubt about it." And he continued on to tell me that he was all the way up here, and he did not (most definitely not) want to get from here to somewhere else with this flying thing- it might not work. We went on like that for a while- you'll do great, you're a flyer- but I'm nervous- and eventually he got a little more quiet, a little less piercing and a little more warm in his peeps. On I went a few more paces, and there amidst the magnolia tree buds were his brothers and sister- three squat sparrows with fluffy bodies, and one sleek mother bouncing here and there, who had certainly done a fine job there.
So on this outing today when I thought, "I wonder if my sparrow buddy...?" before I could think that I'd thought it he peeped, "Teep!" from the big white house, sitting on the gutter now. Having some air of pride about him. "Look at you!" Such a fluffy guy. He didn't say much, sitting next to his sister on the gutter, being generally well, and I was glad he said hello. I tilted my head back to see a black bird on the wire with a circle of dry grass in the mouth. Soon she flew into the gutter, right next to sparrow guy. Sparrow hopped away from the nest builder, hopped hopped fleetly like a little bunny to the crest of the roof. Just a sparrow, and a baby sparrow at that- when you're a sparrow you have to run away or hide from anything. I thought of "Not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it." But a knowing like that- how could we fathom an awareness like that? Infinite depth, infinite breadth, and all the ways there could be to know the tiniest feather and the turn of stars across heaven's heaven.

After the big white house is the Stafford Street steep hill, where on the left side is a hill garden in which lives more sparrows, and they came out to say that they were building their house, and sparrows build houses that are pretty wild, you know, sticking out here and there the way the actors of a Midsummer Nights dream crown themselves with garden hats that are human spun; sparrows build a bit like that. One year in the hydrangea sparrow nest, I saw some of my hair, a ribbon, and dried flowers woven into the nest- a dainty taste they have. I nodded my head to sparrow, and as I did a female cardinal flew by and alighted on an apple tree, where perhaps she was building her nest too. Maybe it was already built! They have their babies on the early side, I think. Onward then as woodpecker goes a whack a whack a whack in the woods and cold clouds cover the sun. Woodpecker is hard to see but always there going a whack a peck about, as perseverance is. Not always visible but still a 'goin. Keep going, good friend, says the silent wind through woodpeckers. With my precocious bird I tap your shoulder to say keep going and have a little faith. Running and running and running along, I was almost finished, almost home, and two bright cardinals, feeling exhilarated themselves, flew by my side, flew by the brook through the bramble, friends of bright red inferno, or passion, hey Good Friday. Two cardinals and a good man from long time ago, may he be blessed.

Moon is cold gray rock. But she is great in her steadfastness. Do you know what? There once on earth were no flowers. In the Cretaceous Period, flowers appeared. And when the flowers appeared, then hummingbirds appeared. And bees. And that just goes to show that the whole world is magic.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Back from Africa

G'day, Blog Buddies!
We filmed the Sangoma film (whose name we're changing) in South Africa, and I'm back home in Connecticut! The filming, the experience of being in Africa- was unquantifiable, really, and what can I say? It was real! Here's the last film update piece- you can meet Antoinette and Oom Johannes and it's ok to fall in love:

Also here's the Mary and Kingfisher picture:

Today I moved furniture bits into the yurt (in the backyard woods). The top of the yurt is a glass bubble window that lets in the sun! I'm excited about making pictures by overhead sunlight. I brought some of my treasures back there. Last night my pal Janet and more very dear friends threw me a surprise 30th birthday party! I was so surprised that I didn't realize the party was for me at first! They roasted me then played bright pictures from childhood family and friends... and now am feeling completely sent off in this little ship. Off you go into that next ocean, kiddo! My family and friends in Beaufort, South Carolina and family in Florida likewise filled up the heart with joyful kindness and now I feel this life has been thoroughly good wished on account of being 30. So that's all quite pleasant!

Yes, so m'studio is in the yurt now. I will put some bird feeders out there. Here's a little ditty I wrote on birds near Addo and the elephants:

Birds are Beings born of Song,
clothed note by note in a thing called feathers,
which take the colors of the Heavens and blend them
together for the purpose of the Sky
having Music, and flowers with Eyes.

A pic of the last delight before flying out. Lions got good good love... G'night....
Peace upon ye head- peace to your sweet heart- from the end to the start.

Monday, January 17, 2011

An info splash: The San

Doing some research for the Sangoma Movie. Learning about the San today~ here is a choppy salad of internet article excerpts with corresponding links to the full article.From Bushmen: National Geographic:
A few days later, as the sun thaws the icy morning, I join a foraging expedition made up of the village women, who are going to gather mangetti nuts, which are about the size of hazelnuts and are a rich source of protein. The women wrap themselves in their hartebeest-skin cloaks, embroidered with bright bead circles, sling their babies on their backs, and set off through the bush at a deceptively fast loping stride. Some wear rough sandals made of car tires, but most are barefoot. Many have intricate tattoos on their faces: blue notches radiating out from each eye. They wade through the waving seas of grass, which is soft and blond in the low morning light. Soon they are rummaging in the foliage and poking in the earth with their digging sticks. As N≠aisa fills up her burlap side bag, she explains the uses for the various flora and fauna she is collecting. The root of one tree is good for curing you if you are coughing up blood. Another cures fever or flu. "And this," she says, tugging up another weed, "is called the lucky plant. You burn it and put the ash on your face, and then every man will love you."

As I leave Schmidtsdrift, Mahongo comes over to say good-bye. "Pity us poor Bushmen," he entreats me. "Pity us who have so many problems facing us in this world down here. We Bushmen, we were the first people here, so how come we are the last in line to get anything? When people see we are a gentle people, they just walk on us. We have to find the strength to make a place for ourselves in this world. Otherwise there will soon be no more of us. We will all be gone. And so will our memories. Only our paintings will remain behind to remind you of us."

(National Geographic):By the end of the 18th century, only 150 years after the arrival of the Dutch at the Cape of Good Hope, thousands of Bushmen (San) had been shot and killed, and many more were forced to work for their colonial captors. The new British government vowed to stop the fighting. They hoped to “civilize” the Bushmen by encouraging them to adopt a more agricultural lifestyle but were unsuccessful. By the 1870s the last Bushmen of the Cape were hunted to extinction. Other Bushman groups were able to survive the European encroachment despite continued threats. The last license to hunt Bushmen was reportedly issued in Namibia by the South African government in 1936.

Wikipedia on Bushmen
: One broad study of African genetic diversity completed in 2009 found the San people were among the five populations with the highest measured genetic diversity among the 121 distinct African populations sampled.

The San in the Kalahari have no concept of land ownership nor a central governing figure, so it is difficult for them to assert their rights...

The second song playing is "Eh Hee" by Dave Matthews. It was written as an evocation of the music and culture of the San people of southern Africa. Matthews recalls hearing the music of the Khoisan and, upon asking his guide what the words to their songs were, being told that "there are no words to these songs, because these songs, we've been singing since before people had words". He goes on to describe the song as his "homage to meeting... the most advanced people on the planet". (Wikipedia)

To support the film, please visit:

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Goodwill

With all that we have,
we ought to-

or we could, anyway,

be good to each other.

Really Good!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Ground of Being

The pleasure of earth! Acorn tickles cheeks, sun cares, air embraces. Seed's root stretches, reaching. She invites, "Take root. I hold." Roots grow deep, wide. They turn, twist, plunge and circle. Once sapling, now tree. Delicate capillaries from the watery heart. Tree grows heavy, pressing airy soil bed into dense mass: beginning a slow undulation of black earth. Mother the lover ground pulses back with the scent of her first fire, a bejeweled electricity across windy grasses; glowing web woven through midnight caves of granite, marble, mud, and moss. Moonless night. Far far beneath, massive clear rivers run dripping, rushing past shining bedrock. Copper veins, silver veins- the water runs through it, the pulse feeding everything, pleasing everything. Deep at the center is molten warmth: the Once and Future Fertile Crescent, echoing sun. Honey runs over- thick sparkling seawater, flowing gold, sweet metal, sun shining off wave...

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Goodnight, I love you


Love You Love You Love You again
and if hearts be tired-
Love you Forever times Ten.

When hummingbirds go to bed at night they slow down their heart rate and lower their body temperature. This reduces hummer's metabolic rate- otherwise she could starve to death in the middle of the night. The mini hibernation is a state called torpor. From a biological perspective, it's a great thrifty idea. Mice and little squirrels do it too. From a Merriam-Webster perspective it's a state of mental and motor inactivity with partial or total insensibility : extreme sluggishness or stagnation of function.

So moon and little hummingbird are smiling with each other. Love beyond performance and perspective, amen.

Shipped this out today- it's for a little one about to be born.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Polar Bear

Here’s the new polar bear painting:



Am reading the book Eye of Spirit by Ken Wilber. Mike Cohen has been teaching me new stuff lately and suggested the book especially for its chapters on art. And hey- Vincent Van Gogh’s words sound a lot like Mother Teresa’s!

Two quotes:

One from Emerson via Ken:

“These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God today. There is no time for them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence. But man postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present, but with reverted eye laments the past, or heedless of the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present, above time.”


And Ken on Integral Art:

“That all-pervading Beauty is not an exercise in creative imagination. It is the actual structure of the universe. That all-pervading Beauty is in truth the very nature of the Kosmos right now. It is not something you have to imagine, because it is the actual structure of perception in all domains. If you remain in the eye of Spirit, every object is an object of radiant Beauty. If the doors of perception are cleansed, the entire Kosmos is your lost and found Beloved, the Original Face of primordial Beauty, forever, and forever, and endlessly forever. And in the face of that stunning Beauty, you will completely swoon into your own death, never to be seen from or heard again, except on those tender nights when the wind gently blows through the hills and the mountains, quietly calling your name.”

Thursday, November 18, 2010

11.13.10


The Show! The show was grand. Sarah said, "It's cool, you know, how it's a creative experience where everybody participates sharing their skills." A co-created event! The kirtan was a heartslam. Katie flew up from South Carolina and made sweet potato soup. Dad, Susan, and Kaitlyn flew up from Florida and trimmed evergreens and lit candles and fires. Chrysanthie was a yurt angel and also decorated the entire house, Steve ran the whole place, Roger screened a new film, Roger showed his rainbow water colors, Sarah brought bushels of food she grew, Olivia made dressings of plants, Doug did the sound like a pro (cause he is), Scott built and built, Christina fed us, Deborah breathed us and twinkle lit, Tammy made ginger tea and little bows, Jason held some space and baked seeds, Sara decorated signs and necklaces, Heather photographed, Diane made Belgium chocolates trala la la.

Our time is rolling in. I smell the pines singing.

What were we waiting for? For some of us to catch up? To what? We're all here.

We grow wide as the breath of the sea.
We grow deep as the vein of gold into the heart of the earth.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Lovey Bird!

Here's my new painting! I don't quite know what to call it yet but for now it'll be Lovey Bird. Maybe it could be "Into the Great Wide Open!" hmm.... I'm not sure yet.

There' a water drop back there and a Lady Dew Angel, and then she turns into the cherry blossoms.
This is Chippie and he's holding a bubble wand with ribbons.

Before I started this painting I had a dream. Wanna hear it? I hope not. It's absurd. But o well, sometimes it's nice to read a weird story. I typed this out two weeks ago in the dark morning and thought I'd paste it here....


It's just before 3:30 and, well, here is my dream. I woke up at 2am from a dream where Steve was trying to bring home a green python. He moved next to me in the bed and I shot up with a yelp thinking that the snake had found me. I got up and drank water, feeling scared and thought maybe I'll just go downstairs and sit on the couch- but I saw the emerald python wrapping around my neck and swallowing my head, and fearing that it was waiting for me downstairs, I went to bed instead and snuggled Steve's back. As I drifted back into the night feeling, the snake raised its head and stared at me, and terror rose again. I said- Are you friend or foe?! Are you friend or foe?! The python stared with its green steely stare, seeming to become larger and larger. The snake was neither evil nor good. I realized that it was not going away, so I looked up to its unblinking eyes and asked- do what you came to do.

At that moment a white owl perched north in the trees above our heads, and then another owl of the brown sort behind. Then from the west a rainbow feathered owl alighted on a branch, making me smile. There with the looming python overhead, who was now standing twice as high as me, I lept out of my skin! I was a five year old bright and light. I hopped in between the body and wing of the rainbow owl. He put me in a little pouch he had. The little pouch was a leathery nut shell with gold trim. As I looked down, the snake ate the rest of me. I was howling miserably (the old me getting swallowed) -it really was unpleasant- this me that I primp and pluck and evaluate for problems. The python just unhooked its jaw and began the long elegant slippery swallow. Before my body of accumulations had been fully eaten, the owls flew away with me. Hafiz was echoing in my mind saying, "Why doubt the future of a clay bowl that has been flung into the sky?" Then I remembered us and dolphins. I said, "See? everything is ok now, watch the dolphins. They were actually porpoises from our beach growing up- surfing in the waves, leaping for joy and eating fish, swimming in circles high and low. I woke up in my dream on the beach, stretched out naked as a young thing, curiously atop a mellow and soft green tree python. We were both relaxed and drowsy in the sun, my feet and head lengthwise on her, lounging on a stone wall near the beach sand of the porpoises playing. But then the sun was blocked out, and a giant giant scaly serpent rose up- the likes of which made my green python look like a garden snake. It stood as high as a building, seething. My body in the bed was a storm of terror. In the eyes of this snake were yellow fires. I felt like it was evil and had to be killed, but it was too big. I yelled, "Navratri! Navratri!" Which doesn't make sense I guess, yelling Nine Nights! But Durga (I guess?) swooped in, glowing white and golden, and with a curved machete swiftly decapitated the thing. She was in the clouds and yelled, "Watch for the blood!" like the snake blood was dangerous. She bid me hop onto her blade and go with her. I hopped onto the blade, but by the time she had drawn me on top of the blade near her she shifted into another being. I was about to say thank you but I peered at her face and asked, "Wait. Who are you?" She smiled a crooked smile, and a drop of black blood, the tiniest bit, oozed from her canine tooth. Chills ran through me, and I lept off the blade onto the ground, where inexplicably all of the buckets of dark blood that had been spilled from the snake gave birth to innumerable progeny of the exact one that fell. We were in some in-between world. Half up and the other half slithering, the massive snakes traveled in armies towards our people. It was like they were not on earth, but were making their way quickly.

I thought to pray, but the snakes would have smelled a prayer, so I wrapped myself inside an egg as they went past and wished for winged snakes of the seraphim variety. Soon a trumpet blast cracked the earth and a rumble shook the ground, and a trumpeting elephant the power of 1000 elephants led a charge of its family. They stampeded the snakes without spilling blood. It was a fiery battle that lasted a long time. At some point early on a mother elephant put me, the egg, in the crook of her neck, then later inside a songbird nest. The sulfur storm of smoke and fire continued and the elephants went about madly, and the friendly nest was a soft cocoon. The breeze swayed the branches and a kind bird twirtled nearby. I pealed open the tiniest bit of the egg shell from inside to see the blue sky outside and the cherry blossoms blooming. Seems everything worked out alright.

"About the woodlands I will go
To watch the cherries hung with snow."

Steve woke up in the night too so now we are both in his office. I read him this story and he said, "I'm glad the elephants came with their trumpets." Me too! :)

Friday, October 1, 2010

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dolphin Heart

Hey! How we doing today? Groovy, I hope!

Here's what I'm working on this week- it's a human heart. And inside the Heart is a baby dolphin before birth! This situation kind of thrills me to no end.

When I was taking the picture of the canvas just now the goldfinches were zooming in for their daily thistle, so I snapped a photo. When this goldfinch was munching away he tweetled, "Listen, doodle, when you put up my pretty picture tell my friends they can have their seeds and eat them too."

Today's the last day of summer! Steve and Scott and Roger and I are going to go plunge ourselves into the ocean and daydream on the sand. Let's declare our visions- tomorrow is the Solstice and Full Moon! The Sun and the Moon are gonna be DANCING on the CEILING!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Saying

My friend Mike told me that we answer all requests in a predictable unconscious way until we consciously notice when we are being requested, and respond consciously.

Two months ago Farmer Bob said maybe maybe if he asked his wife Alla on my behalf I might receive a peacock feather from the peacock. I squirmed with excitement for the possibility. Time passed until it was this Saturday and Farmer Bob pulled me aside with Alla. They were talking to me and I felt important. Alla said O! The feathers! Come come I want to give these to you. She gathered a great bundle of peacock feathers and put them in my arms. She's protective of the feathers and loves their beauty. She said I am giving these to you! I thought to myself, this is a serious supernova of awesomeness.

All the feathers were really long. Before I went out the door she said, "O! I have this beautiful small one to give to you too." It was my favorite. It was dense and sparkly and I said to myself- I can decorate the house with all these flowers, but this small one is just for me.

I had taken friends visiting for the weekend to the farm with me. As we returned home with tomatoes and feathers in our arms, one friend asked, "O can I have the small feather?" I said, "Of course," with a knot in my throat and handed it to her. Alone tonight I thought of the beautiful little feather and felt sick to my stomach and cried.

The Happy Arrival of Goldfinch

The Grace Art show opening was GREAT! Here's a picture of Pam telling me she'd like to take home the Annunciation painting.All of the photos in this post and in the Peach Tree post below were generously taken by Roger C. Ingraham. Thank you, Roger!

Before Friday night I finished this painting and the one in the post below. Most of the Goldfinch painting was done in Cindy Shefield's garden here in Stafford that's full of roses and goldfinches. My friends Jo and Kirby Judd call goldfinches "flying daffodils". I put a thistle feeder up for them in front of my window and watch them land and eat through the day. They're so cute! Two birdie couples often come at dinnertime taking turns munching on seeds and singing about their meal- fluttering here and there. Sometimes they wake me up from sleep in the early morning with their soft little sunrise song and I feel I feel I feel so glad with them.