A Kiss

ta-DA!


I used to subscribe to the idea that everything on earth was created on earth. Then I heard that, no, some animals and plants are from other places. I'd had that possibility of an idea tucked in my back pocket when I saw a video of a Bird of Paradise dancing in the Amazon rain forest. In order to get his (hopefully) lady's attention, he hooted, whistled, clicked, lifted his feathers up like a skirt, and hopped around in a circle whilst shaking his head to and fro. All at the same time! I fell off the couch laughing at him. He HAD to be from somewhere else! Beautifully audacious little wacky-head. And certainly his own man. Where do these amazing insane absurd wonderful things come from?! And how is it that they birth themselves into these exquisite outfits? Passionflowers- when I saw one for the first time as a child I stopped in my tracks. Holy mackerel! Jesus, what a world. Speaking of him, in the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, he says, "Be of good courage. If you're feeling discouraged, take courage in the many forms of nature." Yeah. I dig that.

So this painting and symbolism. I understand why painters don't talk about their pieces, cause words are generally the fast lane to ruining a picture. Words get us to thinking, and the only way to get into a picture is to feel it. So that's said. Talked about silver below. Gold is the other reality of silver- they two are like brother and sister in the cosmos: Sun/Moon. I think of Gold's voice as being like, "I am here! with you. Yes! Here- absolutely!" And Silver I think she's like, "Yes, here I am, darling. Mm hmm." And hummingbirds- hummingbirds dart to and fro- they're these ephemeral fluttering dainty balls of light that live off of flowers. And then the passionflower- flowers just open and give silently. I put it over my heart. The space here- beautiful empty space. Space has power in its no-thing-ness. Certainly a lot of creative power! I'm endeavoring here to give it its due respect. This piece is cool in color, save the little sun behind the hummingbird. I'm eager for a kiss of warmth.

Pop-Pop (my grandfather) and Mollie are coming to visit this week, so I will be scarce for a few days.


Silver is a color that comes at night when the moon shines off the water. It is benevolent, having known sadness, like the linings on the clouds or the sparkles in rain, or the shimmer in the midnight ocean pools when the little beings light up. Stars look silver because they are so very far away in the darkness. In my dreams I look at people but I can't see them. Behind them it's too bright and they turn dark with the shadow- their colors drain out.

I read once that if we just turn our back to the light we can see everything in perfect clarity. That if we did, everything would be bright and we could see clearly. Have you ever been on open water in the middle of a summer day? It's blinding. Can't see anything for all the light. Some nights in the woods are like early day if the moon is big enough. The whites become even whiter. When the light is dim in the winter, the birch trees glow in the hammock as if their trunks are lanterns.

I hear people say, "The light, the light!" And other people (they seem kinda sketchy), they go, "The darkness! The darkness." There's this painting da Vinci did- to me it is his final statement. He's like, "Listen, I'm gonna say it the best I can. This is it. I cannot make it any more obvious, okay?"
Unfortunately, because we have stunted capacities, we wonder who the model was? and is that a self-portrait? and, say, what kind of egg did he use in his paints? But if you and me, if we really look to see, we'll see.

Once I saw a bright lion in a dream around the time I was feeling like a failure in the world. He was ferocious, and at the same time, kind. He had shining gold and silver plates and barbs all over his body and he growled saying, "We are all failures here." There's a dream of beauty within most of us- the way the crickets chirp in the evening, how the tomatoes turn so red and warm in the sun, the feel of slippery water through a stream, how the little birdies play in the flowers and chirp to each other. I want them to land on my shoulder and tickle my cheek and ride in my pocket for the afternoon peeping and tweeting along. I think maybe if somehow that miracle day comes... they won't be afraid of me anymore?



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Still working at that little bird. As this afternoon passes, I'd like to offer one of the most amazing pages I've yet to see: a collection of hummingbird pictures!

Ooh I'm excited! This one's rolling! I going to Massachusetts for the afternoon, and I'll be back this evening to put in the pretty birdie. Really pretty!

I was laying on the floor yesterday gritting my teeth. Doing some kind of pathetic face plant in response to failing four young canvases in a row. Man. Sometime you gotta just keep trying, huh?