Thursday, November 19, 2009
Picture of Jesus
Jesus has that sun behind him. The sun is like condensed fire, and I think what he was doing when he was being nailed to the cross, while simultaneously feeling compassion for the people putting him on there, is that he was affirming the long-time sun he shared with his executioners. In an incredibly convincing physical reality, he remained identified in the eternal realm. And that radiance opened a tunnel of remembrance for the people around him. His radiance was like a fast fire that burned through the underbrush, burned a fast line through the forest clear across to their sun. Like, if we all have suns behind our eyes and they can ignite each other- his sun was so bright it just ~woosh!~ lit and lit!
And I think the reason there were so many saints around him- or whatever we call them- so many people with suns behind their heads too- is that it was inevitable. He was like the lighter I have that can light almost any candle. If I turn the lighter up all the way it has a big strong flame, and even if a candle has its wick stuck in the wax or something, the flame will melt the wax, and the wick will begin to burn. And if the wick is already in good shape and ready to burn- all it needs is the touch of fire and it burns. That's just how it happens. The sacred heart is inevitable like that.
It seems natural that we ought to try and be like that- do our best to make our sun shine. Dana and I were saying to each other, "I've tried hard to make myself grow and all the growth that's really changed me had nothing to do with anything I tried! One day- something changed, and it didn't seem to have much to do with my trying." Sometimes I put pressure on myself to be better. For better or worse, I don't know.
He did say it was okay to be a little bird and sing, "Sun! Sun! Sun! Here he comes!" Or a flower. Anyway, I love him, is what I'm trying to say. And I'm going to stop trying to be like him. And just cherish him.
But, um, the fig tree thing. If anyone we know is a fig tree... Fertilizer! Stat!