Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Angel. Again.

Facial completion! That's a good face right there. Can click on it to see larger.

You know how right before Jesus died, he called out? And his almost last words were, “Father! Father, why have you abandoned me?!” Standing there, how bad would it feel to be with him in that moment? After all we'd have been through together then seeing, hearing, smelling… feeling that? I think I’d just throw up my life into the dirt right there. And I would also probably say to myself, “Fuck. Now what do we do?” That’s about how I feel right now, in fact. I don’t know if I drink the coffee for the cream or the cream for the coffee.

I noticed her because she annoyed me. I smiled and avoided her when I could. I had the right to because she was very pretty. Why would it matter to her? Twenty years into that occasional but consistent relationship, she says, "I always remember what you said to me! It makes me so happy!" Krplunk goes the little rock into the pond.

This song- They’re remembering something together, or forgetting it together. He’s saying something painful; I think this is real, did it even happen? I forget…. And she is wait… you’re not right you forgot to take your meds, right? You’ll be better soon just take something. But it hurt. Something killed me but I wasn’t yet dead and I tried to remember the one thing that mattered. Something. Something. There was something. Our pledge. And she no… its only because… But together oh there was all that. Yes there was all that and I.. can’t… what was it? Do you remember? OH Jesus! It spins and I can’t think… Did you FORGET?! Swirling and in heady heaven or hell did you forget did you forget? Baby you are in hell we are in hell its heaven I can’t think I can’t stop its over its in its under. your strangled love it was long it yes no no no no yes it was I remember you remember did you forget. Falling into this you fell I fell you fell you fell don’t you don’t you ever.…I was in love falling free trying my best not to forget.


  1. "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" Darkness falls upon all the land. Your heart is like wax...it is melted within you? Black spot...beauty.

  2. Yes! The dream and what was heard and what was considered and what was imagined and what was nightmared and what was glanced upon over a whisper, we don’t know what is what from what. And so there is no more of one kind of thing, is all so. We are in too many to know. The map lines are ink stained and have run. Kali-stained with her honey pot.

  3. Funny when I first wrote that, I had put in a remembrance of 'honey' and milk in the womb of the rose but deleted it because honestly all tasted sweeter to me when I could hear clearly above a whisper..lots of dark silence.. yet every morn when I gaze into the sun and squint... the cross of light is there and then when I close my eyes I long to travel through all those bright spectrum colored portals...that would be a cool map for you to paint ;)